It’s been two years since I’ve been to this page and to this blog. I haven’t written a single line since I lost my Dear Father in February of 2013. It’s not because I haven’t wanted to, it’s just that I’ve felt kind-of stuck: Family business, grieving, and rebuilding have all taken precedent over my life and what I consider to be “my calling.”
Last week, on March the third, I turned 46-years old. It was on that day, I realized I’ve been missing out on my gifts, on myself, and on my life. I suppose there’s no time limit for grieving. No. When you lose someone this close to you, it rocks your world, pulls you up from the roots, and forces you to face life on its terms. There’s no turning back; things are forever changed.
Yet, this idea isn’t specific to just losing someone. It applies to all setbacks of impact or enormity; health issues, weight gain, relationships ending – there are simply times in life when there’s nothing else to do but reset and (try your best to) move on.
In all, I’ve learned a lot. I’ve learned that when life makes a mess of things, there are a few go-to places I love and can count on; a few ideas I have to always remember. And I’d like to share them now, with you.
Begin Where You Are; The Time is Now
Sometimes it’s hard to have a forward-thinking mentality. Anger creeps in and says, “Well, what if this could have been different?” Or, “What if I made the wrong move?” And, “If I only could have changed things when they were changeable,” are just some of the voices in my head.
Dear friends, I’ve learned the past is gone. You have to take a hard look at where you are right now and be honest with yourself. For me, I’ve had to realize my dad is never coming back, my body is 46-years old, my life is not going to change unless I take action. And this brings me to my second go-to source of comfort:
Find Your Passion and Live It
I love to write. It inspires me. It makes me feel as if I have a unique contribution to the world and can offer a “cyber hug” to someone in need.
Yet, having said that, all the while my father was sick and for two years since, I haven’t been able to offer that creative gift to myself or anyone else. I’ve been on empty. I know now that you don’t need a setback to realize that your gifts and passions are what make life worth living. As soon as I set this pen to the page, my heart opened up. I felt like I was coming home to myself.
What do you like to do? If you are in a difficult place as I was, try re-focusing on what brings you out of yourself; away from the day-to-day issues and into the place of contributing to the greater good.
Read Books and Inspiring Literature
During my slump, I barely read at all. My saving grace was the gift subscription of a spiritual journal given to me by my Aunt Gail for my birthday last year. In one issue, I read a story about a man who was caught driving in a rainstorm. The rain was so bad, he couldn’t stop on the road for fear he would get into an accident with an oncoming vehicle. He could only move forward.
All he could do was follow the white line on the edge of the road. He slowly moved along following that line until he was finally on safe ground. This story said a lot to me. After all, isn’t life just like that? We can’t see ahead or go back but there is only a fine white line to follow if we choose to see it. That story has stayed with me and I think of it often.
Dear friends, are you following your path? I can tell you for the past two years, I haven’t been and I’ve been in a dark place. It’s time to come out into the light. Will you join me?
Talk To Me:
What do you do when life makes a mess for you? I’d love to know. If you’d care to share, please leave a comment below. As always, thank you for reading and do consider sharing Body Talk with your friends.
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