I recently lost a job that I had for over 20 years. It wasn't just any job, mind you. I was an accountant/bookkeeper/customer service representative for my family's business. I was devastated. It wasn't supposed to happen this way. This was a part of my family and a piece of my father's legacy that helped me keep him alive a little while longer.
But one day it was all over.
Who am I now? I'm left to wonder -- although I did have a guess. Even though I was an accountant/bookkeeper, I've secretly always thought I was a writer. There have been times -- even with the old job -- that I have written volumes and thought, "Hey, I can do this! One day I will be a writer." But, then I would just get busy and be accountant/bookkeeper for awhile more. And I didn't mind. I remember Dr. Wayne Dyer (one of my favorite authors) saying, "If you are what you do, then when you don't, you're not." Good news! Until one fine day you have no job -- and you realize that writing professionally is really hard. Then you think, "Hey, If I am what I did and I'm NOT that anymore, now what?"
You Are Always You Inside -- No Matter What.
From past experience I've learned, whether I'm wearing a bookkeeper's hat or a writer's, I'm still just me inside of me; regardless of what I'm doing. Maybe I'm identified differently by others, but the real Laura still lives out her days just being kind, being introspective, being focused, being driven. Even though my desk isn't there at the shop anymore, I'm still here, I'm still me, I'm still okay, and I'm still waking up each morning. The world did not end.
My Father's Legacy Can Still Live On.
Parent's legacies are still alive and well even if we are not living them out. My Dad and I were alike in many ways, but in even more ways we were different. In all, I admired him so much and wanted to keep his spirit alive through his business. Yet, I cannot be my father. No one can be. And business or no business, without Dad things are just not the same. My father was unique to all the world and one of the most special people to walk this planet and his business reflected him. If he were here, I hope he would understand we had to let the business go, it was time. We did our best, but we couldn't be him.
You Reinvent Yourself By Expanding Other Pieces of Yourself.
What happens next? Only the universe knows. What I know is, I have been online since I graduated with my English degree in 2001 sharing my thoughts and writing up my musings. In 2007, I received my M.Sc. in Natural Health and began sharing the Young Living network marketing opportunity. That is still a piece of my enterprise that I focus on and enjoy today. In 2013, I took a course in transcription and spend some of my time freelancing as a legal/governmental transcriptionist -- and love it. And in 2014, I began working as a home health aide for the Center for Disability Rights. I still love to write, and I love to edit. And, of course, I still want to write another book one day. Maybe that will be the part of me that plays out next.
In Short, It's Time To Move Forward.
I am no longer who I was, but I feel like life is about becoming. Becoming more of ourselves and more of who we really are inside. Was I ready to dive in head-first to my own interworkings? No. Not at all. I wanted to live out my father's dream and keep his legacy alive a little longer, if not forever. But it wasn't meant to be. Sometimes we know which way we're going and sometimes we just have to trust life to show us the way there.
Talk to Me:
Are you struggling to make your own way after life has sent you a curve ball? If you are, what have your experiences been like? I’d love to know. If you’d care to share, please leave a comment below the post on the website. As always, thank you for reading and do consider sharing Body Talk with your friends.
Body Talk Links: